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Last updated
February 24, 2009

Spinal Tappets - Tappetstry




From its roots on the gritty, mean streets of Chicago’s western suburbs, to their current status among Rock and Roll’s elite superstars, Spinal Tappets has remained true to their credo: In Hoc Agricola Pharmaceuticas )loosely translated – keep your powder dry). The original six pack of, Stuart Sutcliffe, Peter Greene, Brian Jones, Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Syd Barrett all went on to play with other lesser-known groups and the band has gone through too many incarnations to recount here. Spinal Tappets’ formative period has been well chronicled on the BBC series “All the Dead Rockers,” so we shall not undertake to repeat that chapter here.

No one is quite certain as to how many different musicians have performed for the Tappets, since many of the performers were known to spontaneously combust even before they had a chance to tune their guitars. Estimates run well into triple digits and include Gram Parsons, Bon Scott, Duane Allman, Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Freddy Mercury, Lowell George, and Jim Morrison. (It has been rumored for years that Janis Joplin and Mama Cass sang backup on the “Not quite Alive from Monterey Album,” but this has not been officially verified.)

First known as pioneers in baroque Reggae with a skiffle beat, the current members have infused Acid Rock with blued-eyed indy grunge to create their own unique blend of music that defies categorization. It is certainly not difficult to see how Spinal Tappets have risen to the very pinnacle of the Triumph Parody Charts when you review their collective body of work, which spans nearly a fortnight. It has been speculated that the band has spent literally dozens of minutes writing, arranging and recording some of their classic hits.

Now for the first time, Rufus Leaking, the radio host of WLBC’s (108.3 FM/490 AM – Spring Green Wisconsin – We put the Rock in House on the Rock) “All Night Super 70’s Showcase – heard from 1:00 until 4:00 AM Tuesdays and Thursdays (right after the Packer Backer Show, a nightly 3 hour homage to Brett Favre, and just before Oley Hoopwortle’s “Music for Milkin hour’” morning show). Rufus has painstakingly researched and collected all of the recordings and sheet music from the band’s very earliest days right up through the present. (He hoped to interview the founding members for this collection, but scheduling conflicts made this too difficult.)

He was able to sit down with the current band members in the WLBC studio just prior to recording the latest album, and what follows is based on his recollection of that conversation. Here, in their own words, are the songs made (almost) legendary by Screamer (the loud tappet), Wheelman (the fast tappet) Maestro (the quiet tappet), Wrongway (the dancing tappet) Silo (the long tappet) and Stumpy Joe (the horny tappet).

So sit back, have a cigar, open a bottle of cognac (or PBR) and enjoy the lyrics that made Spring Green famous. 

Bentley Haynes

31 April 2008

Peter "Maestro" Conover - Bass Guitar & Vocals
Mike "Wheelman" Konopka - Guitar & Audio
Mark "Silo" Fisher - Harp, Vocals, & Stratospheric Ambience
Dave "Stumpy Joe" Kayson - Drums
Jim "Screamer" Aldridge - Guitar & Vocals
Dan "Wrongway" Swanson - Keyboards & Vocals
Bob "Suds" Streepy - Lyrics
Mike "Hands" Blonder - Road Crew

Like our Triumphs, the Tappetstry CD is now out of production, but with the wonders of modern technology, you can download the six new and six bonus tracks in 160kbps mp3 format:

New tracks from the NATC 2008 Convention
 1 Old Tyme TR-3 - 3.51 MB
 2 Land of the Rising Sun - 2.88 MB
 3 Flatbed, Parts and Money - 3.13 MB
 4 Grindin Through the Gears - 4.18 MB
 5 Push - 3.14 MB
 6 While My TR Gently Leaks - 4.79 MB

Bonus tracks from the VTR 2005 Convention
 7 Losing My Transmission - 4.61 MB
 8 TR-Man - 3.00 MB
 9 Smoke from the Dashboard - 5.10 MB
10 Rust in the Tin - 3.74 MB
11 Gearbox - 3.00 MB
12 Ahhh - 0.08 MB

Artwork
1 CD Cover - .98 MB - .pdf sized at 4.6 x 4.6" for your jewel case cover
2 Inside Photo - .55 MB - 4.8 x 3.6"

All tracks Copyright © 2008 ISOA All Rights Reserved
 
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Old Tyme TR3
To the tune of “Still Like that Old Time Rock and Roll”, as performed by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
Parody lyrics by Bob Streepy
 
Just take those old wrenches off the shelf
I’ll sit and turn ‘em all by myself
Today’s cars don’t do nuthin’ for me
I’d rather drive my TR3
 
Don’t try to get me in a Subaru
I’d rather tune my leaky old SUs
In a while I’ll be turning 5gs
Still rather drive my TR3
 
Still like that old time TR3
That wide-mouth grille just does it for me
I reminisce about ‘63
Gettin' lucky in a TR3
 
Don’t wanna drive in no SUV
You'll never get me in an MGB
There’s only one way to get set me free
That’s bangin’ gears in myTR3
 
Call me a relic or an SOB
Say I’m old-fashioned; but don’t you diss my 3
Today’s cars don’t do nuthin’ for me
Not like that old fine TR3
 
Still like that old time TR3
That wide-mouth grille just does it for me
I reminisce about ‘63
And gettin’ laid in a TR3

[Repeat chorus]


Land of the Rising Sun
To the Tune of “House of the Rising Sun", as performed by the Eric Burden & the Animals
Parody lyrics by Jim Aldridge 

I bought a car in New Orleans
It’s called a TR3
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And one of them is me
 
My father got the trailer
He towed my old machine
It left a trail of oil and debris
All the way from Kankakee
  
Now, the only thing a TR guy needs
Is another pile of junk
And the only time that he is satisfied
Is when he’s broke or drunk
 
Oh, Mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Dump that 3, and get a 240Z
From the land of the Rising Sun

With one foot in the poorhouse
And the other foot in the grave
I'm goin' back to New Orleans
I found one on eBay


Flatbed, Parts & Money
To the Tune of “Lawyers, Guns and Money”, as performed by Warren Zevon
Parody lyrics by Mark Fisher
 
Well I broke down in a Spitfire, the way I always do,
But how was I to know
that the clutch would come unglued.

I was driving in my Spitfire, I took a little risk,
Send Flatbed, Parts & Money,
You know I’m really pissed. Ha!

An innocent bystander,
but somehow I got stuck, 
Pushing it up an offramp…
Oh where’s that tow truck?

Well, where’s that tow truck….
Guess I’m outta luck.

Now I’m stranded just off Eight Mile,
I’m a desperate man,
Send flatbed, parts & money,
The oil has left the pan.

Send flatbed, parts & money
Send flatbed, parts & money
Send flatbed, parts & money.


Grindin’ Through the Gears
To the Tune of “Reeling In The Years,” as performed by Steely Dan
Parody lyrics by Bob Streepy 
 
That British Leyland motor, I can feel it fadin’ fast
So I grab a quart of Castrol that I hope will make it last
Well, you wouldn’t even know a spanner if you held it in your hand
The things you think are simple I can’t understand

Are you grindin’ through the gears, droppin’ outa overdrive
Are you tossin' down some beers, lookin' for some local dive
Are you grindin’ through the gears, droppin' outa overdrive
Are you tossin' down some beers, lookin' for some local dive

I’ve been tellin' you you're a show car since I bought you in '81
In all the time I’ve owned you, I don’t know if you'll run
The VTR Convention didn’t turn out like you planned
The things that pass for Concours, I can’t understand

Are you grindin’ through the gears, droppin’ outa overdrive
Are you tossin' down some beers, lookin' for some local dive
Are you grindin’ through the gears, droppin' outa overdrive
Are you tossin' down some beers, lookin' for some local dive

I spent a lot of money and I spent a lot of time
The trip we made to Breckenridge is etched upon my mind
After all the times you've broken down, I’m a busted man
The parts I bought are useless I can’t understand

Are you grindin’ through the gears, droppin’ outa overdrive
Are you tossin' down some beers, lookin' for some local dive
Are you grindin’ through the gears, droppin' outa overdrive
Are you tossin' down some beers, lookin' for some local dive


Push
To the tune of “Hush”, as performed by Deep Purple
Parody lyrics by Bob Streepy

Na na-na na na-na na na-na na
Na na-na na na-na na na-na na

I got a little British car, it’s on my mind
No doubt about it, it looks so fine
It’s the worst car that I ever had
Sometimes it’s gonna make me feel so bad

Na na-na na na-na na na-na na
Na na-na na na-na na na-na na

Push, Push
I thought I heard it trying to start now
Push, Push
My legs and back are startin' to ache now
Push, Push
Are you sure you released the emergency brake now
Push, Push
I need it running I’m not to blame now
(Shove, Shove)
I push it early in the morning
(Shove, Shove)
I push it late in the evening
(Shove, Shove)
Well, I want and need it
(Shove, Shove)
Oh, I gotta get ahead of it

She’s got a a tranny like quicksand
Only took one shift from my hand
To blow my clutch and I’m in so deep
That I can’t eat and I can’t sleep

Na na-na na na-na na na-na na
Na na-na na na-na na na-na na

Push, Push
I thought I heard it trying to start now
Push, Push
Pull the choke and cross your heart now
Push, Push
Thought I heard it trying to start now
Push, Push
If it doesn’t catch, I’ll sell it for parts now
(Shove, Shove)
I push it early in the morning
(Shove, Shove)
I push it late in the evening
(Shove, Shove)
Well, I want and need it
(Shove, Shove)
Oh, I gotta get ahead of it

Na na-na na na-na na na-na na

Push!


While My TR Gently Leaks
To the tune of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, as performed by George Harrison
Parody lyrics by Bob Streepy
 
I look in the stall, see the fluids there seeping
While my TR gently leaks
I look at the floor, there’s a pool slowly creeping
As my TR gently leaks

I don’t know why I didn’t spread kitty litter
To soak up a quart or two
I don’t know why I am not bitter
I bought and paid for you.

I look at the floor and I notice it’s greasy
While my TR gently leaks
With every new mile, my stomach gets queasy
Still my TR gently leaks

Guitar solo

I didn’t know that your rings were all busted
Your valves were encrusted, too
I don’t know why the seller was trusted
And now I am busted, too

I look in the stall, see the fluids there seeping
While my TR gently leaks
Look at it all…….
Still my TR gently leaks

Solo out

Spinal Tappets - Tappetstry
June 2008

Produced by:
Mike Konopka
Executive Producer: Mike Bilyk
Recording Studio: Pie in the Sky
Recording: Mike Konopka
Tappetstry Artwork: John Pitingolo
Photo Credits: Lorrie Anne Fisher, Jan Kayson,
 Mark Fisher, Kristi Sloniger
Technical Consultant: Sir Bentley Haynes
Hydration: Miller Coors & Sons
CD Art Layout: Joe Pawlak / VI DataPrint

Special thanks to the Illinois Sports Owners Association for their constant support. Without their enthusiasm and activities involving all things Triumph, we would have no lyrical material

No animals were harmed during the production of this album.  However some brain cells did not survive.

Copyright © 2008 - 2009 Illinois Sports Owners Association

All tracks Copyright © 2008 ISOA
All Rights Reserved
 
 
 
 
 
 
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